April 2010
Really pray that one fine day He will tear down my masks and sew my face for me. Letting it be that imperfect face. Cleansing my wounds. Healing everything that hurt from the inside. When the hurt, insults, negatives can’t be heard anymore. When the crying, weeping, sadness cuz of negatives leaves me a distance away. When the people no longer need to be homogeneus.
Love?
Haven’t you heard of it before?
head.ache.
give me inspiration. graaah.
And the cycle repeated.
Everything. Like family. Like school. Like peers.
I never was able to communicate with girls. YOU KNOW, LIKE GIRLS. Yet with guys, there is a gender gap. Although today the vote was taken and they all admitted that I was just another guy to them=.= Just like how I can’t communicate to my mom.
Ah ma say if I also suka suka angry uh, she won’t talk to me anymore. So, better keep your...
el-kew:
fastf0rwarrd-ed:
I just pray that my faith would be stronger with all these studies on religion and talk on sciences testing the reliability of the words in the Bible.
It’s really getting bad with all my classmates laughing at everything the teacher says even when it’s supposed to show that science cannot prove everything. They were still laughing at the previous joke.
Hmmm. the...
I just pray that my faith would be stronger with all these studies on religion and talk on sciences testing the reliability of the words in the Bible.
It’s really getting bad with all my classmates laughing at everything the teacher says even when it’s supposed to show that science cannot prove everything. They were still laughing at the previous joke.
I shall survive through this whole 6 months of...
And become a FANTASTIC artist. Not just someone who draws cute cartoons. Someone more advanced I shall be. This is a goal. And no less.
I have a wound.
And I cover it up by sewing a mask on my face. Layer by layer. Wound after each wound. I never seem to succeed. I just cover them up and made it look like success.
I felt good. I felt confident. I was pretty. Everyone seemed to like me. I have best friends whom I can confide in. They talk to me.
As time passes by, I feel my face rotting, from the insides of the mask. Vainty. Vainty.
The...
I am always the idiot who believed.
In whatever you say. In whatever they say.
Just becuz of this stupid trust I have in you guys. Means you can just trick me like a fool? Or even TREAT me like a fool? I don’t mind the tricking part.
You could just edit me in whatever I say. I don’t mind. At least I see reality. Instead of having to be happy over a new-found...
I was never a 绵羊.
"I don't wanna miss a single thing you do......
Well.. All that I could say is that I imagined that all out.
Why do I doubt?
I am paranoid.
inDEPENDANCE.
Opening up.
Opening up yourself to others. Is it scary? To you or to others?
It’s weird how people actually wanna shun that. I was talking to some people about something bothering me. But yet, I got stopped and skipped off. I wasn’t really minding that but was just thinking of why people actually want to do that?
Maybe I have a different view about this. Whilst them, they have their own thoughts...
Why don't anyone believe what I said?
el-kew:
fastf0rwarrd-ed:
I really was the anti-social one.
I really refused to socialise.
I really dislike company.
Why do they doubt that?
maybe cause they love you :D
HAHA. Doubt so. I’m a ”fail” class rep.
Why don't anyone believe what I said?
I really was the anti-social one.
I really refused to socialise.
I really dislike company.
Why do they doubt that?
Sometimes, the better alternative is to not hear from anything. Like just plug on and “跟着我的tempo! 跟着我的tempo!”
Being alone, yet with the others. Like a solitude kind of feeling. Being in YET out. Being outstanding YET not. The contradictory kinda of feeling. A very mild kind of thing. A very very small portion of the picture depicted in the scenario. Like how you like yet dislike....
Bored. Bored. Bored.
You’re only responsible for your own FUN. [[[Rachel]]]
live4u:
el-kew:
live4u:
magicmonkeymojo:
live4u:
Today.
After Leaders’ Cell, whilst doing my DISC test, I had a sudden realisation.
I don’t like her because of her looks. Honestly speaking, I can name offhand prettier girls.
But I don’t go for looks.
I go for character. And she has an AWESOME character. Very admirable to me.
Imagine the emotional rubbish following that. lol.
...
omg.
I suddenly got reminded by my bro about smth.
Yaaaay. Hi, bestie:D Thanks a lot.
打遍天下无敌手！
一起走 Go Go! 我们有共同的梦~ 微发泡 Cold Cold! 抓住气泡的感动~ 把所有信心握在我们手中 地球也为我们转动~ 初体验 吼 吼! 感受世界的不同~ 不要说 No No! 躲起来闭关自守~ 要努力勇敢向前绝不退缩~ 坚持每分每秒钟 追逐梦!!
[[[夏日初体验 — 棒棒糖]]]
我只有大睡，我没有呼呼~
Ask you to do homework you want to sleep?
OMG. My face just dozes me off. Webcam is good to do self potrait.
Contrast gives emphasis.
Agree?
It’s just like saying “my brother screams like a girl.” I can’t agree yet I have to.
“The smell of you in every single dream I dreamed…”
– Train — Hey, Soul Sister
Haha!
Can’t imagine we keep asking people to “JUST DIE!” when they are playing games and in the convo at the same time. It’s funny.
Izzy totallyz funnae.
Ohmygoodness:D
I love class conversations:D
They told me Kelly was looking for me for SJPL.
Some Joker Pulling your Leg.
You question because you know you don't know.
Succumbing to a revolving cycle.
It’s no good. I know. Letting it repeat. End. Repeat again the next day. Continously letting this stupid cycle take over my days.
I’m a fake and stupid butterfly. Social butterfly. I never was and I never is. I’m a fake. Butterflies, sue me if you wanna for being a fake.
Tense is coming up. 300 word critical essay with mindmap attached. Self-portrait. Hand drawing. Pencil...
Mentally and spiritually drained.
I feel… as if I were to be an orange. Ouch.
Everything I do is wrong. Utterly wrong.
To question is to go on a journey. But what kind...
Well, was doing some thinking for today. Since it’s our homework and I dilligently sat there and think while I painted. Besides, I’m supposed to pen down whatever I have thought about for today into my pretty little sketchbook/journal. But I thought that I shouldn’t cuz I’m supposed to hand that in.
Thought about this topic during Jac’s lesson. Well, she speaks in...
I'm very worried. By the end of THIS painting...
o.O
I realised I’ve never been so hardworking and passionate about school ever since Primary 4 ended and I got a top in class.
I wake up every morning, instead of complaining about my hair being too short, skipitty skip skip to the toilet and force myself to wake up for school and the sardine curry puffs. I get the enjoyment I wanna in school, finally, now. Doodle, thinking, emotion,...
What are you concerned with? Why are you concerned...
Great questions, Fahris. I still can’t get my answer.
“I think therefore I am (我问故我之)”
– Descartes
Childish.
Dumb, whatever other crude terms. Just name it.
I don’t know why am I feeling this now but I just hope it’ll be away fast enough before tommorrow comes.
Dumb. Yah.
Like how you always score to make me feel worse. Sorry.
Like "yah, yah, yah".... and then nothing goes in.
Have been continously doodling for the past two days, never stopping for much. I might seem awake during lessons today. But I only perked up (honestly) during the talk about “colors” and “psychology”… The rest, my mind was only onto that doodling part. Yeah. the lecturers enouraged it, but I doubt so during their lessons. But no choice, they gave me “foundation...
Utterly disgusting.
I feel smth bugging me.
It’s a kind of very uncomfortable feeling. Cannot describe. Maybe it’s that “introverted part” of me that is taking control now. You know? Like those times when you just don’t want to talk and wanna be alone and quiet and just wanna cry. It’s stupid but you just feel that way. Everyone is still like damn noisy but you still don’t wanna blend in and you...
I wanna sleep but my mind just makes my eyes glue to the email popping every 10 minutes.
good times, good times
live4u:
I should probably do something about my hair though lol. Look like a younger version of Albert Einstein or some other crazy bugger.
Hmm, maybe my hair’s too dry or something.
GOAL: get short, yet wavy hair.
*screams* haha.
ARGHHHH.
Tell me he’s gnna reply. Tell me he’s gnna reply. Tell me he’s gnna reply.
If not I’m so gnna get panda eyes for the rest of tomorrow just becuz of the materials he asked us to print.
Why isn’t that EXCUSE THING working well?
Remind me, nag after me, scream at me. Tell me that “aiyah, tomorrow is only the first lesson, teacher won’t mind de laa”.
...
New nicknames in class.
Baaaad being under the spotlight:( No good. Don’t like. Never liked it actually. Stupid. Why is there such thing called a CLASS REP. :( Don’t waaaaaant. Sabotage.
Kk. So many nicknames. I can’t even remember them cuz it all sounds so “singlish”. Suaku, Suku, Sotong, 路痴, 勇敢的路痴…. HAHA!
Still quite worried about the things we’re gnna print tmr. OMGGGG. :(...
“Woman + Broom = (unfortunately) Wife.”
– Sarah, talking about pictograph.
Nose on fire.
Fever. Fever. Fever. Hate it. Haha. Cuz it always burns my nose. And that duper BIG pimple made it worse when I try to blow my nose. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hurts luh!
————————————————————————-
Things happening.
Yeah, at least there are things happening:D...
I sound as if I've been like crying for 3 days.
Haha! Weird. Like ZQ said, hard to adapt to school luh. The waking early part and the running around part and homework part and the socializing part. I’ve been like a pig ever since O’s end. Sleep at 4 a.m., wake at 3p.m. and the only thing I socialize with is my computerS.
Haircut, haircut, haircut. *reminds self*
Khaye, khaye. Serious matters now.
Sometimes I don’t really...
In need of inspiration.
Draw. Doodle. Scribble. Whatever you call it.
Inspiration can be so minute things like… the spillage of water on drawing block after it’s dried. It’s. So. Amazing.
How I wish I can find my source of inspiration again.
Knocked Down.
